Coaches, Help Your Clients Learn to Dance

I coach leaders who want to follow Christ and have an impact through their lives. They could be ministry leaders, corporate leaders, emerging leaders, or established leaders. Regardless of the scope of their influence, I enjoy helping clients learn to dance.
Below is a tool that will enable you to learn to dance. In fact, it is so simple that you can help others dance almost immediately.
Today, let’s talk about the Christian Waltz. The waltz is a well-known three step dance. 1 – 2 – 3 … 1 – 2 – 3 … 1 – 2 – 3. The Christian Waltz is a perspective created by my friend Bob Flayhart, pastor at Oak Mountain Presbyterian Church in Birmingham, AL. Just like the dance, there are three steps to this waltz as well.
Whether I am coaching someone around organizational relationships, taking new steps of faith in their leadership, or building healthy engagement with their spouse, clients using this tool gain perspective and move toward their goals in a Christ-honoring way.

The Christian Waltz

Step 1: Repent

“Repent? – that doesn’t sound like coaching!” Actually, it can be a critical component of a gospel-centered approach to coaching. When we acknowledge and turn from our sin, there is grace! “Repentance” has gotten a bad reputation based on misunderstanding. You see, Jesus loves repentance. In fact, he runs toward it!   So should we. Repentance brings forgiveness, restoration, and freedom like nothing else.
And don’t forget, repentance is not just for salvation or for new Christians. In fact, Martin Luther stated, “All of the Christian life is repentance.”
Coaching Points:
I seek to help clients respond well where they have failed to act, speak, or believe in a way consistent with God’s truth.   For example:

• responding in anger
• fearing others opinions and people-pleasing
• believing lies that contradict God’s wisdom or design
• engaging in self-pity, self-sufficiency, or self-righteousness

Possible questions:
“What part of the conflict can you own?”
            “Where are you failing to trust God in this situation?”
            “What does repentance look like in the situation your are describing?” 
When a client says in essence, “I blew it.” Help them learn to dance. And repentance really is the best first step.

Step 2: Believe

Coaching Points:
“What does God say about you? this situation? your business partner? etc.”
            “What truth would be helpful to remember?
            “How can you trust God with __________ (this person, situation…)?
You and I need to remember the Lord and bring His promises to bear in our lives. So do our clients. As Christians, we are not left to ourselves. We have a Father who is also King of the Universe. He is good. He cares. A good coach reminds a client what he has forgotten.

Step 3: Obey

 This moves steps one (Repent) and two (Believe) into positive action. Where do you need to step out in faith?
Coaching Points:
These steps of obedience may look like a shift in perspective. They may look like initiating towards a relationship or moving towards a goal, even when there are feelings of fear or uncertainty.
Possible Questions:
“What would following Christ / taking steps of faith / obedience look like in this situation?”
            “What would God have you do?”
            “What are the next steps?”
As often happens when we seek to obey, there will be points of failure and defeat. As a coach, I can take my client back Christ and the Waltz…
This is where the three steps become a dance – repeated over and over. 1 – 2 – 3 … 1 – 2 – 3 … 1 – 2 – 3.
“Ok. Where do you need to start waltzing today?”