Jim (not his real name) reached out to me for coaching, stuck to the point of wanting to give up. With his whole heart, Jim wanted to break out of the corporate world and start his own Information Technology Consulting (IT) Firm.
His resume included extensive IT experience.
His toolbox contained everything imaginable to build his own business.
His strategy for social media marketing seemed brilliant!
But as Jim relayed the details of his business plan:
His drive didn’t match his experience level.
His energy didn’t resemble a man who held everything he needed.
His passion for implementing the strategies seemed nonexistent.
So I inquired: “Jim, how is it you have everything you need to get what you want yet you’re not moving forward?”
Jim shared a secret, which served to create awareness.
Every time he tried to think about his business, all that came to mind was the huge risk in leaving a six-figure job to run a start-up that would temporarily impact his family’s lifestyle.
They would need to transition from eating out four nights a week and taking two expensive vacations per year to frugal meals and vacations, for starters.
“How does your family feel about this?” I asked.
Jim replied, “They’re not too thrilled. My wife enjoys her bi-weekly spa visits. My sons want to explore Europe, and my daughter will absolutely go nuts if we don’t go to Disney World.”
“And how do you feel Jim?”
“Like a failure.
Then he expounded on all the negative thoughts ruminating in his mind.
Ponder This Question
What keeps you from doing what you want to do?
- Family Concerns
Perhaps it’s all of the above, or maybe a couple rise to the top.
But what if the real issue is a matter of mindset over mechanics?
What We Focus On Enlarges
Jim’s mechanics: resume, toolbox and strategy.
Jim’s mindset: no drive, no energy and no passion. I’m a failure.
Jim convinced himself worthy of the label because he remind himself, daily, of the shift his family would need to make.
When you tell yourself something, whether true or false, your brain believes it. Then, the neuropathways built based on those thoughts enlarge. Physiologically, the deepest pathways get the most attention and fast become your default mode of processing your environment.
When Jim came to me for coaching, he operated out of his amygdala (fight, flight, freeze area in the brain).
I asked powerful questions to help him begin to operate more from his prefrontal cortex (executive decision-making area in the brain).
- What’s going to happen if you don’t leave corporate and start your own business?
- What’s going to happen if your wife doesn’t get to the spa as often?
- What’s going to happen if your children have to wait 1 more year for the big vacations?
Jim began to feel empowered.
Jim began to think of new options for his family.
Jim began to have a driven, energetic and passionate mindset.
3-Step Process For Immediate Application
- Identify one thing you want.
- Write it down.
- Pray about it daily.
There’s no magic or self-power in the formula. God created the human brain to work on our behalf. As you build a new neuropathway around the desire of your heart, it will deepen. It will enlarge.
Your God-created brain will begin to look for ways to achieve your goal.
The Results for Jim and His Family
Within three months of our coaching session, Jim left his corporate job and started the business. In the meantime, his new mindset enabled him to brainstorm alternative ways to satisfy his family.
Over delicious home-cooked meals, they planned the Disney princess themed birthday party his daughter only dreamed about. It added up to less than 50% of a Disney vacation.
Jim’s oldest son volunteered a portion of his summer job earnings to help pay for the family vacation. His younger son discovered Frankenmuth, Michigan via the Internet—so authentically German their Oktoberfest is officially sanctioned by Munich.
All the positive energy in the family sparked an extra-special wedding anniversary. Jim paid a fraction of the price of a spa visit to have the owner teach him how to create an at-home spa for his wife. He also surprised her with the gift of one at-home spa per month. He did all the work. She was very happy.
Jim’s and his family are living content and looking forward to Spring Break 2016 at Disney, followed by a two-week summer vacation in Europe.