I reached a point in my coaching practice where I felt locked up.
And while I knew there was a way out, I simply couldn’t find it.
I’m not even sure I knew where to find the lock, never mind that I couldn’t locate the first key to freedom.
Me. A coach. A person called to help people become unstuck was somehow stuck.
How did this happen?
Worship, Work and No Play
Caged by the details of church and work, I lost my balance.
I became so focused on serving God and learning how to become the best coach I could be that things in my personal life grew blurry and faded into the background. I lost sight of the importance of hobbies and relaxation.
The rhythm of worship, work and play in which I once flourished turned into a steadfast cadence: worship, work, worship, work, worship and work.
ICF Competency #4: Coaching Presence
The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching presence as the “ability to be fully conscious and create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible and confident.”
My clients could sense my cadence, my “new” coaching presence that came with the imbalance.
No longer was I the coach who came to the session ready to be spontaneous with them—beginning the session with exploring, visioning and asking “what.” Most of my questions revolved around “when” and “how.”
Forget flexible: I marched to the beat of the “let’s get it done drum.”
A Client Gave Me the Key
Then a client helped set me free.
At the end of a coaching session, she said, “You’re always making observations about me. May I make one of you?”
“Of course,” I replied.
“You seem different. You used to be very playful. While we still pray together and get a lot done, it used to be more fun. Lately, things seem more geared toward what I need to do instead of what I really want.”
I thanked her and remarked, “You just coached me.” We both laughed.
She helped me see that I needed to add hobbies and playtime back into my life. As soon as I did, I felt more whole again.
To Unlock Your Coaching Potential
Consider the time you spend in worship, work and play.
What would a more balanced life look like?